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Because Utah mormons are waayyy different than mormons everywhere else. I think in most situations its either you join or she leaves- either you, or the church. I really hadn't considered a lot of the points people have brought up.
I would think that a comprise between you getting missionary discussions and her reading the CES letter would be even. I don't think you "dodged a bullet" but I do think new residents change Other wives told me my husband would "come back" but we are still in the training so I can't tell you whether that is completely true or not. Welcome to the future. Either way, if you have kids and you don't convert, she will divorce you and take your kids away from you and you will be shunned from her community. No doubt that all rightetous persons will accept Christ but not everyone that dies will be righteous.